Problem with next door's guests

Dear Dave,

My next door neighbour's fat bastard son and his wench/offspring comes to visit at least twice a week. When he comes, he doesn't park in front of there driveway like any normal visitor would, if I'm out in the car or my car is parked on the front garden he parks in my space outside the house. Now this REALLY gets on my tits. Especially when my car is parked on the front garden (if I've been unloading heavy items out the boot or hoovering it) and he parks outside my house blocking me in. I've only seen him park outside next door's house once and that was because he was visiting, parked outside my house, then he went out, I moved my car from the garden to the space he was in, then he came back, revved his engine like he wasn't happy, and parked outside theres. I dunno what his problem is, but I'm tempted next time to get my valve remover out and let his tyres down.

What action would you recommend? I'm planning on doing away with the front garden at some point for a driveway and if he continues this behaviour blocking my drive I will not be responsible for my actions. I look forward to your advice.

sticky one this. if you kick off too much your neighbours will not be too happy. unhappy neighbours are not a good thing. what is your relationship like with them?

do you do anything about it at present?

i really want to tell you to kick off ant set fire to things but i have a sensible head on today.

STRICTLY SPEAKING is he definately in the wrong, ie is there a dropped kerb? or is it just a case of common sense and courtesy that he is sadly lacking?

do the neighbours have a drive? does he ever stay over?

if so wait till he parks there overnight then get up at 3am and bang the fucking door down!!

I havent done anything at present other than express my views on it very loudly outside the house when I've had to park further down the road hoping they hear me. There isn't a dropped kerb, but council rules say I have to have one when I have the driveway done, but I fear he will still be doing this.

I get on OK with the neighbours so don't really want to cause any beef with them, he stayed over new year for 2 or 3 days and the car was outside theres during that time as he couldn't take my space due to my car being there, but whenever they have other guests stay over they have the common sense to park in front of there house. They have a drive which has a corsa on it, and his missus parks their astra out front behind my golf. But I don't see why he doesn't park in front of there drive everytime he visits like any other normal guest would. If they're visiting I don't see how its a problem blocking them in as they can just move the car if they need to get the corsa out but I never seen that happen.

It is because he is a cock.

unfortunately if yo approach fat bastard he will just point out that there is no dropped curb so he can park there. he is of course correct technically.

can you make lofe awkward for him? park really close so it takes ages to move.


fuck it. just stab him

You made me lol. I would love to stab him, but I fear my kids would turn out to be little shits if they ended up fatherless with me in prison and/or bummed to death. Next time he parks in my space I shall park right up close to make his life hard. I haven't done this yet though as I'm scared of my golf getting damaged in anyway

When the dude comes to swap wheels tonight just be like, 'yer thats fine mate, you just park over that dive my neighbourgh is sound' and then take as long as possible. Also if your neighbor does come out tell him that you are doing an engine swap tonight so you cant really move the car